cabin fever

Well, it's been a little while since I last posted.  Time's been kind of fluid lately.  I had my surgery last Tuesday, and the days have been slipping by ever since.  Doug also enlisted in the Army Reserves the same day (it's been in the works for about a month), so we've had a lot of big changes in a very short period.  I'm off work for the next three weeks, and there are a lot of books and little craft projects in my imediate future, since I'm not allowed to drive and am feeling cabin feverish. 

Speaking of craft projects, I finally finished the baby blanket.  It looks amazing.  For anyone keeping track, I only worked on it when we were actively waiting to hear if a birthmom had chosen us.  Two days after I made the appointment with the surgeon, and only four days before the surgery, we got a call for a faily immediate placement.  We're still waiting to hear what the mother decided, but since she was due yesterday, I'm fairly certain she's changed her mind and decided to parent.  Either way, I rushed to get the blanket done while I could still work on it, just in case, and I love it so much!

While this might not have been "our call," it was a mighty fine distraction from the anxiety about undergoing major surgery.  And it was a really nice reminder that while my trip to the OR was eliminating even the remotest chance of a biological child, there is still a baby in our future. 

We've got our homestudy renewed and are in the process of rewriting our dear birthmom letter.  Things feel very stagnant and status quo otherwise.  Even the stress of waiting for a birthparent decision has become less intense.  The wait has become our "normal."

Doug's been taking care of me, and he's been a gem.  So supportive and loving, even though I know he's as sick of me being at home taking up real estate on the couch as I am of being there.  I was thinking today (blame it on the percocet) about what the 20-year-old version of me would think of the me I am today.  And I think she'd be pretty surprised at how content I am, all things considered.  Life's dealt us some hard knocks, and it definitely hasn't turned out how I'd planned, but...in so many ways, it's even better than I could have imagined.